An Apple Picking Adventure…A Difficult Lesson for Mommy

There are many fantastic fall activities to engage in during this time of year and one of my favorites is apple picking! I documented the fun apple activities we participated in last year. Click here to read all about them!

Although we enjoyed many of these apple filled activities again this year, it was our trip to the apple orchard that I unfortunately will never forget.

Our Apple Adventure– My daughter had a huge smile on her face as the tractor drove us far into the apple orchard. But it’s when we stepped onto the ground that everything changed. She began crying because she couldn’t find any apples to pick. Although most of the apples were hidden in far away branches, making it impossible for a little one to reach without assistance, when I offered help she refused. Then she experienced a huge melt down when the tall grass brushed against her little legs, showing her discontent by letting out blood curdling screams while I attempted to document our apple outing by snapping a few pictures. She yelled that she wanted to go home and that’s when it hit me. Mommy’s Lesson- My daughter’s life had recently been turned upside down when I accepted an assignment to train teachers for an entire week at a local school district. This was a change for our family of three because I normally work a few days out of each month (rarely back to back days) and am blessed to spend the majority of the time as a stay at home mommy. I knew working for an entire week was going to challenge us but the work was local, guaranteeing I would be home every night and the generous pay would help our family financially.

So in the middle of the apple orchard on that humid day I realized all my daughter wanted was me! Instead of ending the week going apple picking or out to eat or here or there, all she wanted was her mommy. A good book and some cuddles on the couch was what she really needed. Too young to verbalize these feelings she had enthusiastically said “yes” to apple picking when I made the suggestion. After all I was excited about the trip so she should be too.

As parents we try too hard to do it all: continuing fall traditions, working to provide for our families and trying to be successful at parenting. Would the world come to an end if we missed apple picking this year? Life is a balance and what our children need more than “over the top” experiences is quality time with their loved ones. This precious time can be spent in the backyard on the swing set, inside the house with a favorite book, making a yummy snack in the kitchen or building a tower out of blocks. We can’t do all of the fun activities we see on Pinterest or take our little ones to every fall event on the city calendar. It’s ok. In fact it’s more than ok.

Spending quality time doesn’t have to cost us anything but gives us the biggest reward. This is time where we are 100% focused on our children and they have our full attention. Time where we erase the thoughts of our never ending “to do lists,” turn off the technology and have some uninterrupted quality time together. I recently heard if we don’t take the time to listen to our children while they are young we won’t be the ones they come and talk to when they are older. Listen to your children for these are the moments that will become the memories that our children will forever cherish. The memories of a happy childhood filled with love.

After pleading with my daughter I was able to get some pleasant apple picking pictures right before we left the apple orchard. I debated sharing these pictures on Facebook instead of the one where she is crying. I ended up “keeping it real” and sharing the crying photo because that depicted what truly happened.

And Just Like That Our Little Lady Was Potty Trained

Potty training is one of the biggest events in early childhood and everyone appears to have an opinion. There are countless books written on the topic and the Internet is flooded with tips. Although I found the advice useful, every child is different and my daughter’s potty training journey didn’t replicate any of the plans I read online. Her journey from diapers to underwear was individualized and unique, just like her!

Now I have to confess something…our potty training adventure wasn’t exactly as quick as the title of this article implies. In fact, as I browse through old pictures I realize I have been doing things to prepare for this day for an entire year!

Although my parents never mentioned it I could tell they were wondering if I was ever going to potty train my daughter. After all I was potty trained before the age of three and in a little over a month my daughter will be three and a half! I began to feel like I was a bad mommy since all of my daughter’s friends were fully potty trained; many for almost a year now! With some, the parents were forced to speed up the process because of daycare. Some of her friends showed signs of readiness and potty trained at an early age while others had baby siblings on the way and potty training their oldest before a baby was added to the family just made sense.

Since I spend most of the time at home with my daughter and she won’t start preschool for another four months, we had plenty of time to spend on potty training. I carefully observed her for readiness signs and created a potty friendly environment for her to learn in. I believe in child centered learning but there are a lot of things that need to be in place for success. My daughter wouldn’t be potty trained without purposeful intent by me, her teacher. Below I describe the steps I took on our “tear free” potty training journey.

Modeling- When my daughter was very young I took her into the bathroom with me. Through watching me she learned the steps: sitting on the potty, wiping with toilet paper, flushing and washing hands. Although at eighteen months she wasn’t ready to abandon her diapers just yet, she often mimicked me by grabbing a fist full of toilet paper and pretending to wipe herself while she was fully clothed! As Lillian got older, many of her friends were toilet training and during play dates she saw her friends go potty. Through modeling, especially by her peers, Lillian showed more interest in going potty.

Picture Book- We began reading books about going potty shortly after my daughter turned two years of age. A friend gave us the book, “A Potty for Me!” by Karen Katz and it became an instant favorite. Around this time my daughter went through a Daniel Tiger phase and she fell in love with the “Daniel Goes to the Potty” book that comes with a button that makes a flushing sound. The reader is encouraged to press the flush button each time Daniel Tiger uses the potty. The book follows the same storyline and includes the catchy “potty song” that appears in the Daniel Tiger episode “Daniel Goes to the Potty.” “Everyone Poops” is a classic by Taro Gomi and we enjoyed learning about different kinds of animals and the various ways they go to the bathroom.

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A few of our favorite potty themed picture books.

Selecting a Potty- Lillian helped pick out a little Minnie Mouse potty at the store and both sets of grandparents bought matching ones for their homes. This consistency proved to be helpful because Lillian didn’t regress when she spent the day or night with her grandparents. At first she sat on her potty but after awhile she occasionally went on the potty. She role played by having her stuffed animals use her potty. Her little potty is located in our master bathroom and that is where it has stayed throughout the entire process. Even though Lillian had her own little potty she sat on the big potty sometimes. In fact she loved trying out potties in public places and at family and friends homes. We never had a problem using bathrooms in public places because Lillian learned early on that there are potties everywhere!

Lillian’s Minnie Mouse potty.

Motivation Chart and Rewards- A few months after Lillian turned three I introduced a sticker chart for extra motivation. I waited until the holidays were over and we were back to a “normal” schedule with no out of town trips planned or any other unusual distractions. But the chart I selected simply wasn’t working. The goals on the chart were too ambitious for her and she wasn’t earning any stickers. I looked online and found a Paw Patrol Potty Chart! Click on this link to download the chart. paw-patrol-potty-training

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The Paw Patrol chart that was a huge success!

Lillian is really into Paw Patrol and the tasks on the chart were attainable for a beginner. (Told an adult I needed to go, Pulled down my pants, Sat on the potty, Went in the potty, Washed my hands) After she filled an entire chart with stickers she got a small Paw Patrol toy. The chart followed her to her grandparents house and we made sure to add stickers if she went potty while we were away from home. When she began to show success and filled up the chart at a faster pace I changed the categories on the chart to include two columns for “Went on the potty” and then added a column for “Went poop on the potty” and “Staying dry all day.” This gradual release of increased expectation proved to be very successful.

Big Girl Underwear- I bought Lillian Minnie Mouse underwear when she was two years old. She showed no interest in wearing them. One day she spied some Paw Patrol underwear at Target and she got so excited I bought them. But she still refused to wear underwear. I thought starting her in pull ups before underwear would be successful but she showed little interest in wearing pull ups (even though they are very similar to diapers.)  So to my surprise we potty trained in a diaper. She would pull down her pants, rip off her diaper and pee in the potty, so I simply went with it. At first it required suggestions from me but soon after she was running to the bathroom and going independently. On Easter Monday I asked her if she wanted to wear big girl underwear and she said yes! She stayed dry all day and after that she never wore diapers again!

My daughter’s potty training story reminds me that sometimes all it takes is time, motivation and a little bit of encouragement for something to happen. Forcing someone to do something before they are truly ready causes tears and frustration for everyone involved. Learning is a process and everyone learns at his/her own pace, following a timeframe that often doesn’t match our own expectations.

The Happiest Place

When I accepted an assignment to train teachers in California I got the brilliant idea of taking little Lillian with me. So I invitied my parents to tag along. My husband even flew in for a few days. 

Since our little Lillian is obsessed with all things Minnie Mouse we decided to extend our California trip with a two day visit to Disneyland.


During our California adventure we were in constant communication with Ken’s parents regarding the condition of Grandma Talley. Her health was deteriating after a debilitating bout of pneumonia. Early in the morning, hours before our first day at Disneyland, we got a call that Grandma Talley had passed on. Although we were filled with sadness, we also gave thanks for her 97 years of life. She experienced a lot in her 97 years, including multiple visits to various theme parks. One of my favorite photos of her was taken at Six-Flags Over Mid America when she was in St. Louis visiting my husband and his family. The fun filled memories of a day of pure joy were clearly captured in the photos shared with me years later. 

Grandma Talley with her husband Fraudie riding the carousel at Six Flags.
Grandma Talley riding a roller coaster at Six Flags with her grandchildren.

So my husband and I began our Disneyland trip attempting to capture some of the joy we remember from our childhoods. But I would be lying if I said our entire trip was magical. It wasn’t. There was no magic in changing diapers in a warm, crowded bathroom. And there was a little less magic as the day wore on and we became tired and overheated, our feet aching from walking from one side of the park to the other. But weeks later as I reflect on our trip I barely remember any of the unpleasantries. For the good times overshadow any of the inconviences we experienced. Instead, we are left with happy memories of an excited two year old meeting Mickey Mouse for the very first time. And we are reminded of the bright eyed toddler who was mesmerized by thousands of glowing lights in the electrical light parade. We remember how exciting it was for Nana to ride Dumbo with her daughter and her granddaughter, bringing back memories of when she rode on Dumbo with her own mother a few years after Disneyland opened. Our memories are filled with the face of a little girl smiling from ear to ear as she twirled with her Pops on the tea cups and squealed with delight as she rode the carousel with her Daddy. Our little princess had so much fun she didn’t want the magic to end. After riding on the carousel she held up one finger and asked her Daddy in the sweetest voice, “One more time.”

Lillian meets Mickey Mouse at Disneyland.
A day after we came home from Disneyland we packed the mini van and traveled to Magnolia, Kentucky for Grandma Talley’s funeral. As we drove, my husband and I reflected on all of the wonderful memories we had with grandma. We reminisced the entire drive and my husband shared wonderful stories of summers spent on the farm. I had more recent memories of Grandma Talley smiling at our little Lillian, her namesake, for the first time. We both commented on how weird it felt being in Disneyland and then just days later traveling to Kentucky to say goodbye to Grandma Talley. Although we all secretly wished we could be with Grandma Talley “One more time,”we gave thanks for her blessed life and the time we had together. 

My family and I may have spent two days at the happiest place on Earth but Grandma Talley is now in an even happier place. A place that is better than a million Disneylands put together! A place where there is no pain, no suffering and no hurt. She is in heaven where she was reunited with family and friends. While we spent two days at Disneyland, the happiest place on Earth, I feel comforted to know that grandma will have eternal happiness with her Lord and Savior in heaven.