Friendship, Faith, and the Life We Never Could Have Imagined: A Clarinet Duet Composed by God

Friendship over the years has a way of revealing something divine: God has plans for our lives long before we ever know what they are.

I met my best friend in high school during marching band camp. She was a sophomore, I was a junior, and we both played clarinet. At the time, our biggest concerns were rehearsal schedules and surviving the summer heat, not realizing God was quietly planting a lifelong friendship that would shape both of our lives in ways we never could have imagined.

We stayed close through college and eventually found ourselves searching for teaching jobs at the same time, me in early childhood education, her in music education. Coming from southern Illinois, we sent out hundreds of resumes across Illinois and Missouri, praying and hoping for doors to open. When I was offered my dream job teaching all-day kindergarten in the Ferguson-Florissant School District, I was thrilled… and terrified. It meant crossing the Mississippi River and leaving the comfort of my hometown after two long years of searching. Still, I knew in my heart it was where God was leading me.

Then, just one week later, my best friend landed an interview in the very same district. What were the odds? I helped her prep, drilled her with interview questions, drove her to the administration building, so she’d know exactly where to go… and she got the job! Suddenly, what felt like a leap of faith became a shared journey.

We hadn’t planned on being roommates, not wanting to risk our friendship, but after apartment hunting, it simply made sense. So we moved into our first apartment and began our teaching careers together in the fall of 1996. Those years were filled with the growing pains of first-year teaching, tears after long days, late-night talks, and constant encouragement. When she wanted to quit, I reminded her of her gifts. She stayed and went on to teach general music in that district for years.

The Noteworthy Mommy and her BFF throughout the years.

In return, she nourished me in ways only a true friend can, through amazing meals, laughter, and by pulling me back into music. I began playing clarinet seriously again, taking private lessons, performing in pit orchestras, and eventually joining the Saint Louis Wind Symphony, where we are still members today. Together, we built a wind quintet, played weddings and receptions, and even created concerts for children.

Over seven years as roommates, we supported each other through graduate school, both adopted cats, hosted dinner parties, watched sitcoms recorded on a VCR with steaming cups of coffee on Saturday mornings, and shared faith conversations sparked by sermons I heard at my church with my bestie even joining me sometimes. Somewhere along the way, we became more than friends, we became sisters. For two only children, it was an extraordinary gift.

Life continued to unfold: seven years as roommates, standing as each other’s maid of honor, marriages, motherhood. Her daughters came first, and when my “mini me” arrived years later, she became my mommy mentor, passing down clothes, books, toys, and priceless wisdom.

The Noteworthy Mommy and her bestie.

Even as life grew busier, we stayed connected through Sunday rehearsals, phone calls, and faith-filled conversations. Scripture and lessons learned from our individual Bible studies began weaving naturally into our talks. Then, last year, she mentioned possibly returning to work. I casually shared that my daughter’s school was always looking for preschool assistants. She applied, unsure if she was cut out for it, and was hired.

Suddenly, my “sister” was part of my school and church family. She became a blessing to our school community, beloved by teachers and children alike. Seeing her there, and knowing she would see my “mini me” at lunchtime brought a deep sense of peace and gratitude.

And then came yesterday.

I was asked to substitute in her classroom.

Team-teaching with my best friend, my “sister”, surrounded by three, four, and five year olds, was pure joy. The inside jokes flowed, the love and respect were obvious, and the kids felt it. It was a truly blessed day, one I will always remember. A church friend saw us together, referring to us as the “preschool dream team!”

What keeps echoing in my heart is this: when we met in high school, we never could have imagined that we would have been roommates teaching in the same school district, and now, 38 years later, we’d spend the day teaching preschool together. If someone had told us back then, we would have laughed!

But God knew.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Working together in preschool in January 2026

This friendship has always been give and take, composed by God’s hand. Proof that when we trust Him, stay open, and walk faithfully, even when we don’t see the full picture, He weaves something far more beautiful than we could ever plan ourselves, a quiet duet composed by God.

God is amazing! His plans are good. And sometimes they begin on that one day in band camp and lead to a friendship that lasts a lifetime!

My Musical Mentor and Friend

It’s an honor to share a few words about someone who left a positive mark on my life—Mike Montague.

Mike and I shared something special from the start—we were both Christmas babies, born on December 25th, 24 years apart. We also have loving partners named Ken, and share a deep passion for music. For twenty years, we sat side by side in the Northwinds Concert Band, clarinets in hand and music in our hearts. But more than that, Mike was my musical mentor.

He was an extraordinarily talented musician, always in pursuit of the perfect sound. Whether it was offering me alternate fingerings, helping me figure out a tricky passage, or suggesting small changes to improve tone, Mike’s guidance was always spot-on. He was constantly tinkering—trying new combinations of mouthpieces, ligatures, and barrels, searching for just-the right sound. He even made his own reeds—some of the best I’ve ever played on! His knowledge was vast, and he shared it so generously.

But it wasn’t just musical wisdom he passed along. Every Tuesday night at rehearsal, Mike delivered gentle life lessons—little pieces of insight I didn’t always realize were treasures until much later. In his soft-spoken way, he encouraged, uplifted, and taught me how to truly listen, not just to the music, but to life.

Mike supported me in everything I pursued. When I told him about my work as a reading consultant, he lit up with curiosity and pride. You see, Mike was also a scientist. His passion for science matched his love of music, and our conversations would often dive deep into the science of reading, the science behind music, and everything in between.

When I became a mother, Mike beamed with pride. He always mentioned how smart she was going to be because she had two musicians for parents. Mike was fascinated not just by my daughter’s musical genetics—offering tips on how to develop her perfect pitch—but also by her very existence. I call her my “miracle baby” but I think Mike was thrilled that she existed through the advancements in science, she being an IVF baby! I shared weekly reports about her antics and her growth, and this brought him pure joy.

One moment that has stayed with me happened on my 50th birthday, as I approached this milestone, Mike gave me a piece of advice that I now carry into my 50s. He said, “Enjoy your 50s. You’ve got the smarts—you’ve learned so much—and you still have your health. Now’s the time to live life, go places, do things, and share your wisdom.”

Mike’s words have become my mantra. They inspired me to take charge of my health, to lose over 50 pounds, and to find the courage to use my voice, to not be afraid to speak up, advocate for others, and to live life fully. I’m still a work in progress, but Mike’s voice echoes in my heart and keeps me moving forward.

The last concert Mike and I played together in December 2023.

So, in honor of Mike, I encourage you to take his advice to heart:

Live fully. Share your wisdom. Embrace the music. And celebrate the beautiful differences that make life so rich.

Thank you, Mike, for your music, your science, your kindness, and your light. Your legacy lives on in every note we play, every life you touched, and every Tuesday night memory we carry with us.

*I read these words at Mike’s “Celebration of Life” service on June 21, 2025. I also had the great privilege of performing the piece Rhosymedre, arranged for clarinet quintet.

Two Noteworthy Teachers “Changing Lives Through Music”

In honor of Teacher Appreciation Week I wanted to highlight two teachers who have touched my life. To them, teaching isn’t simply a job, it’s a passion! Through their gift of music they are changing the lives of children in a positive way. Portions of this article appeared in the Community Music School of Webster University e-blast in May 2018.

I began taking clarinet lessons at the Community Music School of Webster University (CMS) as a young adult. My teacher, Jeannie York Garesche, helped me with the fundamentals and gave me the confidence as a performer to become a member of the Saint Louis Wind Symphony. “Jeanine personalized each lesson, was patient with me and always set high expectations. Through her instruction, mentor-ship and support, I was able to perform at a level I never thought possible!” Over the years Jeanne and I have kept in touch and my husband and I were honored when she accepted the invitation to perform at our wedding. She is a talented professional musician and I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to study under her.

Jennifer and her clarinet teacher Ms. Jeanine York Garesche.

Music brings a lot of joy to my life and I want my daughter Lillian to grow up appreciating music and having opportunities to express herself musically. So I enrolled Lillian in Kindermusik classes at the CMS when she was 8 months old. Lillian and I enjoy going to class together and we both love her teacher, Ms. Jeanne Magee! “Ms. Jeanne is outstanding! It is clear she is passionate about music and is extremely knowledgeable when it comes to child development. She is warm and welcoming and makes learning fun.” Jeanne has a beautiful voice, supports my blog and is one of the sweetest people I have ever met! I consider her a mommy mentor and a friend.

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Lillian and her Kindermusik teacher Ms. Jeanne Magee.

A busy life as a full time mommy, part time educational consultant and active musician have sadly made it challenging for me to continue taking clarinet lessons. Even though I don’t currently study privately, when I perform with the Saint Louis Wind Symphony or the Northwinds Concert Band, I continue to apply what Jeanine taught me. If I ever slow down I hope to study with Jeanine again some day. Lillian has learned to keep a steady beat, recognize loud and soft and often sings the songs or does the dances she has learned in Ms. Jeanne’s class. Lillian is three so we get to enjoy two more years of Kindermusik at the CMS! I will always be grateful to the CMS and their dedicated teachers for providing me and my daughter with quality music instruction.

Teachers often don’t get the opportunity to hear how they have changed lives. So I challenge each of you to take the time to write a note or send an email to a teacher who impacted your life. Let your child’s teacher know how much you appreciate the work they do or encourage your child to write a note or draw a picture. As a former teacher I valued those personal notes far more than any of the lotion, scented candles or coffee mugs I received!